Technically, I'm single. Emotionally, I'm taken because in my heart, I'll always be his girl even if he doesn't know at all.

And that's true. You may not see it, but it's true. You may not suspect it, but it's true. 
You may not be able to imagine it, but it's true. You may not have guessed it, but it's true. 
You may not accept it, but it's true. 

I wrote this for you.

Home.

My heart fills a bloody vein

When I sleep, in dreams

I see you only before pain

But it’s not what it seems.

Lucifer dress me in thorny roses

Reds and blues, blacks and whites

And I have all my dirty tricks

Under my sleepless nights

But you’ve become my idée fixe.

I could cut the bloody vein with a teardrop

I could use a knife to carve memories too

None as real, none as sharp

I could cut the bloody vein with a teardrop

Only if it were for you.

In this picture you belong

In this picture I don’t stand

I don’t have a place in this world so wrong

Where in this life will this maze end?

I long to kiss you, your godlike face

It may kill my pretentious bliss

For when I meet your familiar embrace

I will finally go home

For home is where my heart is. 

On Halloween, 2010.

The whole day replays in my memory like a movie  without sound, only feelings.
There are so much to remember, so much to see. Yet, I have almost no words to describe it.
I went out with Diana, my best friend (one of the three) on Halloween to The Curve, an elite shopping mall near her place. We had plans to have lunch and later on watch a movie, just the both of us.
So we booked our tickets to 'Takers' and I was so happy. Call me gay, but I looked at her overloadingly beautiful miracle she has for a face and smiled. I was out with HER! On Halloween! And we were going to watch a movie and have lunch together. I felt such indescribable joy, freedom and pure happiness that I can swear I know no boy or man or date would ever know exist with her because no matter what ever they do, they will never understand the meaning of her, what she is, who she is to me, who she is at all.
They will never know how to appreciate time with her like I do. Like always.
So we decided to go to TGI Fridays, this really awesome place like 'Chilis' and we had Fried Mac & Cheese and shared a Shrimp Pasta, some really good stuff. We took a TRUCKLOAD of pictures and oh how the thrill overwhelmed me, such excitement at just the very thought that I were about to upload those cell phone pictures into my Mac and edit them to look extremely beautiful, and then add a whole new album of Halloween with her on Facebook. I was at an amazing place, with killer food and one of the most beautiful living beings alive, wearing pretty clothes and taking pretty pictures with absolutely NOTHING to worry about. Everything was just perfect. Best of all, it actually got better.
We walked to Cineleisure and made it in time for 'Takers' which was, just awesome.
'Takers' is an action packed movie with a tinge of humor and we laughed so hard at their puns and funny gestures and terrible facial expression and very clever comebacks. Although I didn't dress up as the mistress of the dark and she wasn't the hottest devil in existence, it was the best Halloween I've had, ever.

After 'Takers', we walked around the 'Street Market' (which is there every weekends) and went around a few stalls that sold very exotic earrings. Ohh this is the best part of shopping, EARRINGS, my idée fixe.
Dana picked out a gorgeous gold pair for me to match with a purple dress of mine I've been planning to wear at a wedding dinner for the longest time. It was perfect, still is actually (the earrings I mean) and she picked out a pair for herself too. See, earrings are magical shiny beauty entrancers because they make a girl look suddenly mind blazingly irresistible and it also works like a magic eye highlighter. Have that with eyeliner, ohh hell bless me...
But of course, someone as beautiful as her would look like a God by the time she's done accessorizing herself with earrings and eyeliner and an amazing outfit and her hair, the type that money can't buy.
We had so much fun walking around and it got way better when we walked into The Body Shop to sample delicious scented body butter and torturingly sweet smelling shower gel to get her set for the date she's never going to have, thankfully. Because I know I'D take her out everyday for a week if she were to put THAT much effort and thought into getting ready to go out with me.
I wouldn't put her to waste, and treat her like some cheap whorish rag I could kick around and shove aside and come back whenever I want it back.


We ran round and she got ice cream from Mc Donalds for her mum (which she ended up finishing all by herself) and while we were there, we laughed hardcore, like inhabitants of an asylum.
Her glamorous mom picked us up from The Curve and drove back to her place. When we got home, I took a bathroom break and washed my face. I went into her room after that and saw her posing in front of her red MacBook White for a picture. How cute. I watched her take a few more shots of herself until she found a nice one- I couldn't help but smile at her.
She changed into a yellow semi long sleeve top and a dark pair of jeans. Her mother was taking us out for a movie! ANOTHER MOVIE.
Oh Joy! We were going to watch another movie-two movies in a day. How awesome is that?!
We had dinner first, of course and we actually shared a bowl of ramen mushroom noodle soup. We even snapped some A.W.E.S.O.M.E. pictures with my cellphone camera because hers ran out of battery.

Dinner wasn't enough for me, so I dropped by Mc. Donalds to take out food and smuggle them into the movies. I ordered a double cheese burger and a large fries for Dana.
When I took my money out of my wallet, I realized that there was more money in it than usual. There was an extra ten bucks in it, and I was surprised because I was REALLY sure that I had just over twenty  after all that shopping we did. I turned to Dana and I said; "There must be an angel here because I swear I only had twenty something left in my wallet before we left The Curve. Now I have an extra ten. I tell you, an angel MUST have put money into my wallet!"
She had the most queer face on, she hung her head in the most peculiar way and I knew she was on to something. I just knew it. "Dianaaaaa. Was it you? I know it was you!"
And she laughed! She actually laughed! So it was her! She had put money into my wallet. Why would she do that? I was shocked, really.
"Why did you do that?" I ask her. She just kept on laughing until I shoved the ten bucks into her top and she squealed. That turned many heads.
Then she stood next to me and half laughed while she told me why she put the money in. She said that it was because I said earlier in The Curve that I was running out of cash and I didn't want to buy anything more cause I didn't want to keep drawing out money from the bank. She said that she put the money into my wallet so that when I opened it, I would have more money.
I swear I could have cried then but I didn't because I didn't want to upset her. I know how she gets when I cry. I felt like crying, really. She comes from a well-to-do family, but of course like every other student, she doesn't earn a salary. Her pocket money is obviously her own savings and is limited. And to think that she'd actually give it up just to make me happy when I open my wallet, I couldn't bare the thought. It was so touching. She's so kind, so thoughtful. I've always loved that in her. It is one of the things I admire her for, so much. I felt so bad that she thought I needed money, cause that wasn't it at all.
"Oh no, I only didn't want to shop anymore after that because my dad says I have to save cash even though I have a lot in my bank. He wants me to save it for later on in life and stuff like that. Don't worry, I'm not running out of money. Thanks so much, gosh you're so kind." Was something I said. We tugged the food into our handbags and walked into the cinema.
We watched a funny action-comedy movie called 'The Other Guys' and it was hilarious. I had so much fun, I didn't even wear a jacket. LOL. Elyna, the Pastor and Di's uncle were there too. And of course, Diana's beautiful mom.
Aunty Sharmini sent me back to daddy's and I said goodbye to them all, gave Di a really big hug. But as always, the day could never come to an end and ever be enough time spent with her.